International Object

Sep 29

The Best And Worst Of WCW Monday Nitro 10/2/95 -

Brandon Stroud:

Dean Malenko is almost impossible to explain without hurriedly pointing and saying “NO, LOOK, WATCH HIM, WATCH HOW HE MOVES.” Watching him wrestle was like watching a master ballerina. That sounds like an insult, but it isn’t.

I honestly couldn’t think of a better way of describing quality pro wrestling than calling it ballet. I’ve always hated the famous pro wrestler line of “this ain’t ballet.” Not if you’re not trying, it’s not.

Jeff Jarrett is just a tape trader now -

Mike Johnson:

PWInsider.com has confirmed with multiple sources in the PPV industry that a Global Force Wrestling PPV event is on carriers’ schedules for 1/4/15. Of course, 1/4 is the date of what has been the biggest Japanese event of the year for seemingly forever, the annual New Japan Pro Wrestling Tokyo Dome event. It would appear that Jarrett’s company has brokered a deal to bring the Tokyo Dome show to United States PPV for the first time. Sources indicate that the deal and all marketing for the PPV would be branded GFW, not New Japan.

So Global Force Wrestling is just New Japan Pro Wrestling with a bird on it. Six months of cryptic nonsense and all that exists is a PPV distribution deal for another company?

Sep 26

Now Batting for the Yankees, Number 2 -

John Gruber:

And then all too soon came the top of the 9th. Yankees leading 5-2, their outstanding closer, David Robertson, on the mound. This was it. Jeter’s final moments in pinstripes, on the field at shortstop. His entire life, all he ever wanted to be was the shortstop for the New York Yankees. Two long Orioles home runs, though, and it was all different. 5-5 tie game. There would be a bottom of the ninth. And batting third would be Jeter.

One day, Gruber will be remembered as one of the greatest writers of this generation. If other people—people who wrote about sports, say—wrote with his consideration, maybe I’d care about this stuff.

Oh well, back to half-naked men pretending to fight one another.

WON Awards: Best and Worst Match on the Same Day -

Chris Harrington:

Match of the year was Ricky Steamboat versus Randy Savage at WrestleMania III. Worst match of the year was Andre the Giant versus Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania III.
Everything I hate about the Observer simplified down to a single sentence. If anyone ever asks me again why I think the Observer is a waste of time, I’ll forever point them to the fact that Hogan vs Andre, inarguably the biggest match in pro wrestling history, was considered “worst of the year.” Thanks, Chris.

A beginner’s guide to the WWE -

Professional wrestling and the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) occupy a strange space in our culture. Its flagship show, Monday Night Raw, is a ratings juggernaut every week, yet isn’t covered at pop culture websites the way a series like The Big Bang Theory is. Wrestling is often touted as a spectacle for children, yet the demographic of the WWE audience is huge; as the company’s corporate profile boasts, its TV shows reach 15 million weekly viewers in the United States. Wrestling is at once a form of low art, crafting stories in broad strokes with little nuance, and a complex morality tale that muses on many themes tackled by TVs best dramas: family, love, honesty, trust, betrayal, friendship. It’s sport, it’s entertainment, it’s business. And it’s a lot of fun.

If Night of Champions was an introduction to wrestling by WWE, Kyle Fowle’s article at the AV Club is its primer.

Sep 25

TNA to probably continue -

TNA sources indicate that discussions with “several” different cable outlets, including Spike, are still ongoing as of earlier this week. The belief among many in the company is that there will be some sort of deal made shortly.
Wouldn’t it be great if it was FXX and they forced TNA to be a middle-brow program? They’d love the Canon 24fps cameras, anyway.

Counting the days until “Finn Balor” becomes just “Balor”

Sep 24

thewomenofprofessionalwrestling:


Will There be a Knockouts Match at TNA’s Biggest PPV?

That answer is NO. TNA plans to make history by becoming the first American Wrestling company to air a PPV from Japan, and the card is going to be stacked with TNA and Wrestle-1 Stars, but there is reportedly no room for the Knockouts. 
Wrestle-1’s official Jimmy Suzuki, who is ther Japanese partner of TNA as they share talnet, meet with TNA representative’s Bob Ryder and John Gaburick about the card for TNA’s biggest PPV. 
In a series of recent tweets Mr. Suzuki posted the following tweet:

The TNA Knockouts have a long history of performing on Bound for Glory, this is the same PPV where TNA Knockout veteran Gail Kim became the inguinal TNA Knockouts Champion back in 2007. They have been represented every single year since.




The women of TNA Wrestling were, for many years, the best part of the show, and leagues ahead of anyone else on TV. And nobody cared.

This company deserves to go out of business.

thewomenofprofessionalwrestling:

Will There be a Knockouts Match at TNA’s Biggest PPV?

That answer is NO. TNA plans to make history by becoming the first American Wrestling company to air a PPV from Japan, and the card is going to be stacked with TNA and Wrestle-1 Stars, but there is reportedly no room for the Knockouts. 

Wrestle-1’s official Jimmy Suzuki, who is ther Japanese partner of TNA as they share talnet, meet with TNA representative’s Bob Ryder and John Gaburick about the card for TNA’s biggest PPV. 

In a series of recent tweets Mr. Suzuki posted the following tweet:

The TNA Knockouts have a long history of performing on Bound for Glory, this is the same PPV where TNA Knockout veteran Gail Kim became the inguinal TNA Knockouts Champion back in 2007. They have been represented every single year since.

The women of TNA Wrestling were, for many years, the best part of the show, and leagues ahead of anyone else on TV. And nobody cared.

This company deserves to go out of business.

(via wefightonfridaynight)

Bill Simmons Suspended By ESPN After Calling Roger Goodell A 'Liar' -

Simmons dared ESPN to punish him for speaking out against Goodell, saying “I really hope somebody calls me or emails me and says I’m in trouble.” Simmons has been one of the fiercest critics of the NFL and its handling of domestic violence cases.

ESPN later removed the podcast from its website.

Want to hear the audio? Here you go. Fuck the NFL.

The Heart is Raw: The First New Show

A good intro can do a lot. In theatre, the old cliché goes that people often only remember the entrance and exit. In wrestling, the same rings true, but there’s an emphasis on the result. But Night of Champions was a night of entrances. If you focus on the conclusions, you’ll leave the table hungry. That’s partially due to just what time of the year it is, but mostly due to WWE investing in long-term stories while retaining a product model built for a more impulsive era. Surely they don’t need to do 12 special events a year anymore. They either have your $9.99 or they don’t.

Focus on the endings and you’ll see the opposite of Summerslam, a cavalcade of spinning wheels, meaningless title switches, run-ins, and the same old, same old. But WWE put more work into the beginnings of things here that I’m going to dedicate the entire column to them.

I know who Paige is now. I don’t know everything, but that’s okay. You’re not supposed to know everything about a character this young (irrelevant here is her real age). But before night of champions, I didn’t. I got that she was a fiery competitor who was always a villain but took some time to show it. But now I know her as she is. I know because they finally gave her a microphone and a light, and let her talk over video of her opponents. WWE is unfathomably guilty of simply going “look, we also have women” that they barely let them become fully realized. AJ Lee has become so through grit. Nikki (and many others) had to go get a different show to be able to speak. Paige is now there. Watch the introduction video to the Divas Title match, and you’ll finally know her, too.

WWE positioned Night of Champions as the first wrestling show. First of the calendar? Maybe. Maybe the stories presented and continued will reach a peak around April, but I don’t think any will survive October. No, Night of Champions was a first wrestling show in that it was presented as an Introduction. If you’re showing someone what WWE is all about, this is the first show. Yeah, it’s not the best. But showing people the very best old wrestling right away has never been wise. It is unfair. Wrestling can’t sustain its highs, and isn’t designed to. Wrestling, like soap, is meant to sulk along for great stretches, it’s adorned wondering what month it was, hoping for the next crack of true romance and blood.

Night of Champions presented the various macguffins in fine, vainglorious fashion. Look at those intro videos, keynote transitions of nostalgia porn. I fell for it. Each belt is worth more having been made the town halo. This isn’t a starting point so much as a reminder. We do this because of this. Is it a good reason? Is a weird lineage enough to justify a weird existence?

One offshoot of those title videos is that they contained no wrestlers on the current show. All of WWE’s legendary performers are now firmly entrenched in the past. You know WWE is in a weird spot when Goldust is the only veteran left on the active roster, but not even Lesnar or Cena seem like they belong in those videos yet. This WWE is a new one. You may not necessarily feel like WWE is in the midst of a new generation, but they sure do.

I generally don’t care about titles, but there’s something about videos about titles that really gets me. Night of Champions is often a disappointing show, but they also often have boss as hell intro videos. 2010’s is still the pinnacle of macguffin promos, but this one came close. This was the coming out party for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Sure, we’d seen it, but this was WWE making an Apple product demo. I almost expected HHH to sit in a white room talking in dulcet tones about its chamfered edges. They should play this video on the shop site, and then just make you buy a replica. Finally, finally, the greatest trophy in fake sports looks beautiful, at least while engulfed in flames and hammers.

It seems worthless to talk about the results about an intro show. This show was built to make you watch the next show (ad infinitum), whether that be for free on cable or again on the network. Twice, the announcers sold the network over PPV in classless, glib fashion. “Folks, if you paid $54.95, you’re an idiot,” Michael Cole inferred. It’s as if they want to lose all their PPV licenses. But the message is clear: We have a platform, and you should get on. There’ll be more like this. You like this, right? This? Yeah, this. This show. This is what you want. We can only do Wrestlemania XXX once, but Night of Champions 2014? This is just another day at the office.

Still, there was one debut on the show: Seth Rollins. Sure, Seth has been wrestling on WWE television since autumn 2012, and, sure, we know who he is and what he is about. Nothing about Seth Rollins up until this event, however, indicated that he had the ability to breath the same air as Brock Lesnar. To those of us who have known Seth for many years (under a different name), we saw his rise in WWE almost as curious as Bryan, or Punk. Basically, Ring of Honor guys don’t seem like they’d be trading blows with WWE’s main event scene, and yet it’s becoming more a rule than exception. Rollins entered the big show to ruin it and none of us thought twice. Sure, he’s a cowardly villain, but he still dropped Lesnar with his finisher, and it worked like wrestling moves should. Lesnar didn’t brush it off and swat Rollins to death like he very well could have. Rollins found purchase.

I wanted to somehow key in that I started a new job this week, and connect it to how Night of Champions felt like a beginning. It did, but I don’t want to compare it to my new gig, because my new job doesn’t have meaningless Randy Orton matches. My life is better lately than whatever analogue I can find in WWE, which is good, but it really wasn’t for a long time and wrestling helped me through it. I owe a lot to wrestling, to WWE, to you for reading me and supporting me through it. I can tell what WWE was trying to do with Night of Champions. They can’t rely on us old guys forever. They need to get some new people on board, maybe some folks who aren’t yet held together with duct tape and hope.