By Sawyer Paul.
Lots of cool stats in there, but I’ll repeat it over and over: analysing wins and losses in wrestling is as useful as reading tea leaves. Amount of matches is almost as useless. Harrington essentially proves this: guys with the most matches (and often most wins) don’t at all correlate to who you’d call the stars of 2014. Guy with the most singles matches? Damien Sandow.
The only correlation to stardom I find completely true is 100% winrate, which only goes to two people on the main roster: Brock Lesnar and Stephanie McMahon.
Who in the blue hell is this list for?
It’s Showtime. 9.22.14— Sting (@Sting) September 20, 2014
Okay, now you have my attention.
Bayley’s entrance from nXt Takeover II in gif form, just to make your goddamned day.
Will there be giant
belts Championship Titles hanging from the entranceway?
Back when I was a blogger, I had this little monthly column that went for nearly 2(!) years called “Will Any Story Conclude” that took the PPV prediction dynamic and twisted it a little (here’s my article from 2011 as a reference). Instead of predicting winners, I predicted conclusions, which are a far rarer thing in wrestling. And because pro wrestling is more soap than sport, correctly predicting that a story will conclude feels so much more satisfying than just calling a winner.
Now that I’m trying to do IO more often again, I thought I’d dust off the concept.
WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Brock Lesnar vs John Cena
The question here is whether or not WWE feels like putting Lesnar and Cena in a cage at Hell in a Cell. Despite the opportune timing, it’s just never been WWE’s thing to finish stories off in a cage, even though that’s essentially what they did last year with Orton vs Bryan. Nevertheless, I’d bet on this being the last time Lesnar and Cena clash for a while, with some kind of outside interference pushing both parties in different directions.
Roman Reigns vs Seth Rollins
Considering they decided to just have a match on Raw the week before the PPV that ended cleanly on the side of the hero, I’m not sure how this match could be anything else but a bait and switch. Expect something like Dean vs Seth at Money in the Bank: less a match and window dressing for an escalating scene. My money is on it continuing to a triple threat at Hell in the Cell.
Chris Jericho vs Randy Orton
Considering this isn’t really a feud so much as padding, don’t expect this “story” to go anywhere after this show. I’d personally like to see these guys both go down a peg, with Orton fighting Ziggler and Jericho fighting Cesaro.
Intercontinental Championship: Dolph Ziggler vs The Miz
Hasn’t this been unexpectedly fun the last month? What was a fairly flat story going into Summerslam blossomed as a comedy routine involving a pair of stunt doubles. Still, Ziggler and Miz have technically been feuding since Money in the Bank. This is the capper.
Tag Team Championship: The Usos vs Stardust & Goldust
No matter who wins, they’ll be fighting each other next month.
Mark Henry vs Rusev
Rusev got 2 PPVs out of Jack Swagger, no reason they couldn’t do the same with Henry. This doesn’t end here.
US Championship: Cesaro vs Sheamus
Side-prediction: this’ll be the sleeper match of the show. I’ve seen a few Cesaro/Sheamus matches and they’ve all been excellent. Having said that, are they ever going to do anything interesting with Sheamus? He hasn’t had a proper storyline since fighting Bryan in 2012. That’s a long time to tread water. This, however, will be their only match in this feud.
Divas Championship: Paige vs Nikki vs AJ Lee
This is the “Punk vs Kane vs Bryan” of this story, where the addition of an unnecessary party is just kind of confusion but may lead to a phenomenal tag team? No way this is the end of Paige vs AJ. Personally, I’d love to see them finish it in the Cell.
And integral to that notion of American masculinity is violence. Football is our culture’s great spectacle of violence, our version of the gladiatorial games of ancient Rome. You can see signs of football’s celebration of amped-up manhood in the pageantry of our own bread and circuses: the military jet flyovers, the Built Ford Tough commercials, the shiny uniforms, the amplified crunching sound of hard hits, the big-knotted ties, and the pregame show special effects that seem like something out of Transformers 12. You can see it in the silver gladiator mask that Terrell Suggs wore during the pregame introductions when the Ravens played the Steelers last Thursday. But those are only symptoms. Get rid of the truck commercials, get rid of the gun salutes, and you’d still have the violence on the field. Get rid of the gladiator mask, and you’d still have Suggs.
People ask me all the time how I watch wrestling. This is one of my reasons. Fake violence is better than real violence. Accept only substitutes.
Macho Man: The Randy Savage Story will include a documentary feature on disc one and 15 matches on discs two and three. The Blu-Ray set will feature an additional 4 matches and a series of extra stories.
Basically, it’ll be what this DVD should have been.
KEVIN STEEN: I don’t care. I’m happy to do this.
ZAYN: Well aren’t you perfect?
I can’t wait for WWE fans to get a load of these guys.